What do you do when you really need a prayer answered and all you get is... crickets? Do you never pray again? Probably not. Why?
Trust is given, not earned. No one can ‘earn’ your trust.
We are all biased. We approach every situation in our lives led by our biases. We say yes or no to things based on our biases. This has been scientifically proven.
For some people in your life, nothing they do will alter your commitment to them. Your emotional connection to them (bias) lets you forgive them over and over (trust). For others, regardless of how good they were to you in the past, one bad action is all it takes for you to cut them off completely.
Trust is given, never earned.
I applied for a US visa recently. I went through all the processes listed in the requirements. Ultimately, they require you to bring 3 documents to the interview: the DS-160, passport photos and something else.. Can’t remember.
At the embassy, I noticed guys with files and piles of documents. The story goes that you should bring invitation letters, bank statements, title deeds, anything to prove that you can afford your trip and you plan to come back home. I could hear what was going on in the interview booths, people getting rejected, being asked all kinds of questions.
My turn, I answered my questions and got my visa. I didn’t bring piles of documents. My thinking was, I sent all the info they wanted while applying online, including my social media handles. By the time I got to the counter they had decided whether I qualified or not. Additional documents wouldn’t have made a difference.
One story from Christ’s ministry stands out in relation to this. When he was accused, arrested and read his charges, not once did he try to prove his innocence. He didn’t perform any miracles to prove he was the son of God.
I believe that after the way Christ led his life, all the miracles and teachings, there was nothing more he could have done to convince them. Their minds were already made up to crucify him.
I am learning to hold back from wanting to prove myself to anyone. At the end of the day, they already made up their mind about me and I can’t convince them otherwise. They trust me or they don’t.
I get numerous requests to send quotations for performances or appearances or other types of engagements. We usually send the quote and our technical and hospitality requirements. Many times the response is “we don’t have that budget” and then we negotiate- or just no response at all.
We can tell who is serious or not by their approach, their response and their grit. By the time they call, they know who I am and what I have to offer. Their minds are made up about how they want to engage with me and at this point there would be no need to try and prove myself further.
We negotiate and I say yes or no. And that’s it.
I truly believe there is nothing you can do to earn someone’s trust.
Trust is given, not earned.